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Herbal Magic Guarantee… WTF?!?!?

August 30, 2011

So, I was perusing the internet as I do from time to time and I saw this ad for Herbal Magic Weight Loss.  Herbal Magic is a weightloss company in Canada.  According to their website they operate over 300 stores and have up to 40,000 clients.  I believe they started as an herbal supplement supplier before going to the storefront consultant route.  I personally have always had a hate on for Herbal Magic… after all, have you seen their name?!!?  Seriously, if you put MAGIC in the name of your weightloss supply, I will hate you.  It is that simple.  Mind you, throwing in the word HERBAL did nothing to make me hate them less and everything to make me hate them more.

I think the most annoying thing about them is the same thing that annoys me about Kirstie Alley’s weightloss program and just about every other weightloss program that is not based on Exercise and Eating Well as the key foundations of weightloss.  It is that whatever the hell it is that they are selling has to be shoehorned into a program that is really, in its entirety a healthy eating and exercise program.  I refer to this as the ‘Knitting Diet’ phenomenon.  Quite simply I could create a diet right now called the knitting diet and to lose weight I will sell you some yarn and knitting needles and teach you to knit and that is all you need to do*.  Of course, the * refers to the phrase, when used in conjunction with a healthy diet and exercise routine included in the knitting diet.  Of course you don’t need the knitting part, but I need to make money and selling you some overpriced knitting needles and a monthly supply of yarn is what sets me apart.  After all, you can get the weightloss help anywhere, even on the internet for free or out of a $19 book…

So that is all Kirstie Alley’s program is, but the Herbal Magic program is a fair bit more.  It is a weekly support weight loss system with meetings and follow ups.  I think Jenny Craig and Weight watchers as well some other systems offer these.  They are great.  They certainly aren’t cheap, but for many they are very successful.  The constant checking in, support and motivation are just what some people need. I really don’t have a problem with these kinds of programs, just with the fact that this one, Herbal Magic is essentially a diet program that is tacked onto an herbal supplement line.  I am sorry if you are a fan of supplements, some of them have a purpose some times, but honestly, if you are overweight you do not need supplements to lose weight.  It really is that simple.

Still, that isn’t the reason that I am writing this blog entry.  I am writing this entry because I just got off the phone with my local Herbal Magic Weight Loss Centre.  Make no mistake, it wasn’t easy getting a hold of them either.  I called the 800 number on the internet and waited while they gathered my life story before answering any questions.  When I finally got a question in, “The internet says you have a 2 pound a week weight loss guarantee, what are the conditions of the guarantee?”, I was told that they couldn’t answer any questions as his job was only to book new appointments.  I would have to call the local centre, but he could book me a consultation if I was still interested.  I thanked him for his determination and got off the phone.  I did a google search and ended up with the phone number of the local center.

I called and spoke with Vicky (Name has been changed for privacy).

Vicky: Herbal Magic can I help you?

Me: Yes, thank you for asking, I was calling about your guarantee…

Vicky:  Yes, you will lose around 2 pounds a week when you follow our program.

Me: Yes, but how is this guaranteed?

Vicky:  You will lose around 2 pounds a week when you follow our program, guaranteed.

Me:  Hmm… I think you are missing my point about a guarantee.

Vicky:  But you see, if you follow our program you will lose 2 pounds a week.

Me:  I see where you are going and I like your confidence, but lets say for one or two people, even out of hundreds, they may not lose 2 pounds a week.

Vicky:  Then they aren’t following our program.

Me:  This appears to be a very circular reasoning, although your confidence is reassuring.  How is this claim guaranteed?

Vicky:  You will lose the weight…

Me:  I don’t see this really getting anywhere.  You don’t have a money back guarantee or anything?

Vicky:  No, it is just a guarantee.

Me:  Thanks Vicky… glad to know….

Vicky:  So, are you interested in a consulation?


I felt ripped off…  Doesn’t a guarantee mean something?  Don’t you have to guarantee it with something?  Can people just go around throwing out guarantees?

, after some research, it turns out Vicky was right, you can just throw these guarantees around…  According to Google, Guarantee can mean any of the following:


verb /ˌgarənˈtē/
guaranteed, past participle; guaranteed, past tense; guaranteeing, present participle; guarantees, 3rd person singular present

  • Provide a formal assurance or promise, esp. that certain conditions shall be fulfilled relating to a product, service, or transaction
    • – the con artist guarantees that the dirt pile will yield at least 20 ounces of gold
  • Provide such an assurance regarding (something, esp. a product)
    • – the repairs will be guaranteed for three years
    • – the guaranteed bonus is not very high
  • Provide financial security for; underwrite
    • – a demand that $100,000 be deposited to guarantee their costs
  • Promise with certainty
    • – no one can guarantee a profit on stocks

There is no doubt that she was certain of her promise…  Whatever…

Honestly though, what kind of a guarantee is that?!!?  It is meaningless.  If you eat less and workout more you will lose weight.  It is that simple.  You can’t guarantee your program and just mean that.  It is useless!!  Come on guys… at least give us a guarantee that means something….

One Comment leave one →
  1. jas permalink
    November 21, 2011 5:50 am

    I guess you were another idiot spouting nonsense without research, it’s based on the food guide with additional supplements to aid people whose metabolisms are now shit I list 40 lbs in 4 months just by following their book my mom so far has lost 15 lbs in 3 Weeks doing their whole program. They cut out sodium and have people making their own healthy food not buying it from them.

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