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Pop Tarts or Fruit Crisps…

July 3, 2010

A recent tweet regarding the Fruit Crisps and Pop Tarts from Special K had me look up the nutritional information for each of these products.  They are part of the Special K Challenge Scam that Kellogg’s is running on us (read more here).  The thing is, my wife buys these things and they taste great.  I noticed right away that they do taste just like a pop tart, just a little less ‘frostingy’ and a little more ‘jammy’.  The other thing I noticed right away is that they are very small… disturbingly small… Small like I have gigantic hands small.  I am not used to this experience of my hands holding such small objects that it makes them look huge 🙂

In any case, I consider these lilliputian pop tarts.  Still, I figured with the reduced icing, maybe they are better for you than pop tarts…  When I saw this tweet, I figured I would check pop tarts and Fruit Crisps and see if my theory that these are just small part tarts was true:

I AM IM LOVE WITH SPECIAL K FRUIT CRISPS!! <33 They taste EXACTLY like pop tarts but they’re 30 calories!

Here is what I discovered:

That is how small the Lilliputian pop tarts are by the way.  8 of them are 2 pop tarts.  Kellogg’s wants you to think that this is the strength in these items, that they are so small you won’t get fat eating them.  The problem is though, that you won’t get full either.  The serving size for the Fruit Crisps is almost exactly half the serving size for Pop Tarts.  Is Kellogg’s suggesting that by printing a serving size half as large as a regular serving size, their foods suddenly become diet foods…

We all know that Pop Tarts are some of the least healthful food products on earth.  They are sweetened jam on pie crust with a sugary icing topping.  There really is nothing good about them.  If the best you can say about a food is that you really shouldn’t eat one serving, then you should change what you are eating.  The thing is though, I don’t mind that Pop Tarts are terrible for you and still for sale.  I am glad.  Every once in awhile I buy a box and have some.  I like cake from time to time too, along with a good night of drunken debauchery.  None of these things are good for you, and hopefully no one is telling you that these are good ways to lose weight.

On a side note, I am always disappointed with Pop Tarts because they are old school bad for you.  Kellogg’s skimps on the jam.  I guess over the years dessert items have just gotten richer and more flavorful and gooey and Pop Tarts haven’t changed.  I have never  had a Toaster Strudel, but it appears they got the memo on the unimpressive taste of the Pop Tart because their product is ooier and gooier (at least according to their taste tests).  Hell, about half the pastries in the counter at Starbuck’s have more icing and jammy filling than Pop Tarts.

In any case, before I got off topic, my point was that Pop Tarts aren’t healthy so why in the world would someone be as morally corrupt to think that selling 1/2 of a Pop Tart as a diet would be a good idea?!?!  The idea behind this claim is portion control, but that is so dumb.  As I have already pointed out in a past post, that is like saying the bite sized candy bars we give out at halloween are a diet food.  I guess if I was sitting in a cell in prison and I was just given one packet of the Fruit Crisps, or one half of a Pop Tart, then I would have some portion control, but the odds of me just eating one packet and then stopping in any situation in which I have free will are zero to none!  If I was able to walk away after having just one bite of something tasty I WOULD NOT BE IN THIS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I would already be a fit person!  It isn’t like I could take just one stick from a Kit Kat bar if there was one in the cupboard and put the rest back.  Even when you wrap them separately like they do in the new ‘singles’ marketing campaign, I am still going to eat all of the sticks in the cupboard.  The bar at least might have made me feel bad when I finished it and started fishing around for another one, there really is no reason not keep at the singles until the box is empty, and I won’t feel bad either until I start fishing around for another box.

Here is a message to all of the people marketing their ASS food as healthy because it is portion controlled (small & individually wrapped):

Dear Food Product Manufacturer,

The wrapper on a package is an infinitesimally small barrier to me actually consuming what is inside.  When you package up  bad foods into ‘portion’ sizes, where portion size refers to how little of that product I should eat, and then you sell multiple ‘portions’ in a box, you are just wasting natural resources (packaging), my patience, and space on this planet (packaging waste), because I am going to eat most of the ‘portions’ in the box in one sitting.  If your portion size is 6 chips or 25 grams of Pop Tart, yet no one person has ever ONLY consumed the portion size you recommend, you need to re-evaluate what you call a portion.  This situation is only compounded when you decide to reduce the portion size further so you can falsely claim you are selling a diet food and in the end the packaging weighs more than the product.  What next, diet butter, sold in chilled ‘portions’ the size of  chocolate chip.  On the subject of chocolate chips, how about individually wrapping your chocolate chips and calling them diet ‘kisses’?

Sincerely,

Mark Vaughan

2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 3, 2010 6:40 am

    “Diet kisses” will be the next thing on the market!!! Love it.

  2. September 19, 2014 7:34 am

    They may not work for most, but I’m good with one. Very tempting sometimes to have another, but it then becomes a matter of self control when trying to diet. I have them as my breakfast some days.

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