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I hate Pop Culture Magazines Parts IV & V…

April 22, 2010

Oh sweet mother of god…  2 in one week?!?!  And not just any two, but two of the worst…

Life & Style Magazine

First and foremost, Life & Style Magazine?!?!  When did you become the Kardashian bikini magazine?  This is 4 covers in a row dedicated to the Kardashian women and their weight.  Do you not understand the damage that you are doing to people’s perceptions of body image and dieting?!?!  Do you just not care????  I honestly HATE what you are doing!!! Okay, this subject is making me angry enough that I am beginning to sputter, so rather than rant, I will just move on…

But before I do… 5 pounds in 5 days?!!?  Are you kidding?!? WHO CARES!!! 5 pounds!! I can lose 5 pounds in 2 minutes with one bowel movement!! Kim’s Revenge Body?!?! Seriously… who is she getting revenge on?!??! She has always been smokin’ hot, so how is this revenge?!?! Is Reggie Bush sitting there crying over this magazine cover because she is so DEFINITIVELY more pretty with these 5 pounds missing!!  Is he saying… damn, I never should have broken up with her, I had no idea she could look this hot!!  Seriously… I think if the cover indicated that Kim Kardashian actually learned a skill (other than media manipulation), that might make Reggie sad about his decision. I am betting that if Kim Kardashian actually achieved something of worth in her life then maybe, just maybe Reggie would regret his decision….

Women’s Health Magazine

Whew… so now I have taken a second and I am calmed down, what is next…  Jillian Michaels on the cover of Women’s Health?!?!!!  Are you kidding me?!!?  2 people in the Rogues Gallery working together!?!? 2 of the 4 rider’s of the Apocalypse are now together! If she were only high fiving Jennifer Nicole Lee (who would be doing a single handed Ab Circle Pro routine), while sitting on the hood of a car they bought from Suzanne Guderkanst, that would be enough to send me over the edge.  Because I know who the editor of this magazine is, I can say, David Zinczenko, you are a douchebag who should be sued for false advertising and false promises.  If there are any lawyers out there who specialize in this please email me.  Flat Abs Fast (15 minutes or less)!!  Come on David, what’s next!! This is the same cover every month with the slightest variations.  Okay… I am sputtering again…  I need to go find something good with the world…  Maybe I will go to the SPCA and pet an abandoned puppy or head over to the bar and put back a couple of pints… quickly…

Oh, wait a minute.  I need to get myself one of these.  I could just put my TV hat on and forget that people are making a fortune on magazines like these….

One Comment leave one →
  1. pat bateman permalink
    April 25, 2010 11:10 am

    Please get your eyes checked. Kim K. looks like a goat.

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