Kirstie Alley’s Organic Liaison Pt 2
A quick note. I guess I am not the only one who likes the theme song to her show/scary product intro because hundreds of searches for her song are ending up at this blog. The song is called ‘Picture Perfect’ and it is by Yogi Lonich. You can visit his webpage here: www.yogimusic.com. The song isn’t available there and he doesn’t have any online way to buy his music, but you can listen to his albums on his website. He is really good.
So, now that is out of the way.
Now onto the second introductory video…
I don’t know if the irony of the claim, ‘the first certified organic weight loss system in the world’ is lost on others, but seriously… We can get the government to certify organic but we can’t get them to certify weightloss claims. Really. So what this means is that no one who sells certified foods has ever sold them as a weightloss program… Hell, there was an apple diet and there are organic apples… This is the stupidest claim on the planet.
A weightloss breakthrough that is Affordable, convenient, really yummy, drug free, and one without meals that I can keep in my closet… WTF?!?! Is that really a requirement of her weightloss products?!?! I look at this list and I don’t know what to think…
“A Bone fide system…”
Bone Fide?!?!? Seriously… I wasn’t even entirely sure what Bone Fide meant so I had to look it up. It just isn’t a phrase that you use too often. Apparently it is latin for ‘In Good Faith’. Is this product being delivered in good faith?!? I don’t even know how to respond to that. This product hasn’t been tested properly and their is no science behind it, so how can it be in good faith?!? That said, I honestly think there is a good chance that Kirstie Alley really believes what she is making works, so how does insanity effect good faith??
” Instant access to the best of the best doctors and products in the world…researching and developing Organic Liaison for the past 2 years with the help of the greatest scientific minds on the planet.”
Ya, greatest scientific minds on the planet. Come on, keep the hyperbole down to a believable level. I am sure that there are excellent scientific minds working on diet and health products, but your product isn’t one of these. Judging from how you refer to science later in this video, I am not even sure you had what we would refer to as an actual scientist working on your project. In fact you are part of a strange cult that is called scientologists…. I am not even sure how that word breaks down.
“Organic Liaison is founded in science, which is provided for you to inspect in our ‘science department’.”
Could she be saying science in a more strangely dismissive manner?!? It is like she is making air quotes while she is saying science… It is appropriate that she is dismissive of the word science because her website doesn’t have the promised science section anywhere. I guess maybe she was just hoping we didn’t notice.
Okay this next part just gets on my nerves…
‘the word liaison is a french word that means a linking up of things or people so that they can work together effectively, or in short liaison means linking. Our job here at Organic Liaison is to link or escort you into the world of organic weightloss and make organic foods easy to locate, affordable and tastier than traditional food.’
Look, if you have to spend 2 minutes in your video explaining the name of your product, and you have to go from an obscure definition of liaison that literally no one on earth uses and then abbreviate it before actually tossing it away and saying instead you are escorting me (which is actually closer to the definition of liason that we actually think of)…. then either your name is stupid or you are for deciding to explain it…
Enough for the video, here is the review:
This product is crap. Of that I am sure. I can’t quite figure out how they think it is going to work. I thought it was impossible to get a wider spread of buzzwords than Jillian Michaels Cleanse and Detox with Probiotics, but I was wrong. I would love to review this product seriously, but there really isn’t any information as to how they think it will work other than offering up statements as to how individual supplements are supposed to work.
So far as I can figure this product is both a product and a subscription service. The product first then:
Rescue Me™ :a formula packed with essential vitamins, minerals and nutrients, helps to reduce cravings while giving you an energy boost. Rescue Me, the first ever USDA certified organic weight loss product, is a special formula that helps replenish the valuable nutrients that are sometimes lost when dieting. It also provides your body with high-quality organic ingredients, including essential vitamins, minerals, natural herbs, fiber and antioxidants.
Release Me™:a calcium and magnesium supplement essential for healthy weight loss. Calcium is not just good for strong bones and teeth, it helps to regulate heart rate, muscle contraction, and blood clotting.
Nightingale™: dietary supplement, designed to support a good night’s rest, is the premier liquid formula of L-Tryptophan currently on the market. L-Tryptophan, an essential amino acid, facilitates in reducing carbohydrate cravings, mitigating muscle pains, producing the key brain chemical serotonin and enhancing sleep and relaxation.
Relieve Me™: A natural cleanser containing digestive support herbs, Relieve Me helps to remove toxins from the digestive track and relieve occasional constipation sometimes associated with dieting. A healthy and clean colon shortens the occasional bout of gas and bloating that can occur when your dieting, supporting your digestive system, giving you more energy so you can continue losing weight without feeling sluggish and fatigued. †
Pagoda™: Pagoda is a specialty green tea extract that supports the body’s metabolism and assists with burning calories. Our green tea contains high concentrations of antioxidants known as polyphenols. Antioxidants help protect your body from free radicals, or damaging compounds that alter cells. †
All Organic Liaison appears to be is a subscription service for supplements. Supplements are not a healthy way to lose weight.
The website offers the following: Organic Liaison has online weight loss tools customized to fit YOUR body. We help you plan organic meals, discover new organic recipes to try and locate organic grocery stores, farmer’s markets and restaurants near you. With our tools, you’ll also have the support you need to lose weight and maintain your new body by interacting with other Organic Liaison members through blogging and Kirstie Alley’s Phitter™.
Okay, honestly there is just the standard crap on the website, including the introductory costs and a claim that the diet program is less than $5 a day!?!? Seriously, this pile of crap costs over $1500 a year!?!? Still, in all of the information on the website, the one thing that is missing is that annoying ‘science’ section that Kirstie told me about.
There is this though “Our bodies are not designed to break down these chemicals, so we end up placing extra stress on our organs, which results in a build up of chemical substances where fat is stored. Think of your body as a house – where do you put all the junk you don’t need or use? You probably store it in the attic or garage, right? Well, these toxins end up stored in the fat areas of your body, leading to an increase in your weight.”
Are they seriously saying we weigh more because of the toxins in our fat cells?!? Toxins may refer to heavy metals and heavy metals must be heavy. Putting those in our fat cells must make us heavier… I must say this is a little more scientific than I was expecting from these people.
That is all we get from this program… that and Kirstie Alley, a person who lost weight on the Jenny Craig weightloss program, yet in the 2 to 3 years she has developed this product, she hasn’t lost any weight… not very convincing.
Next up, her reality TV show. I need to write this up quickly because apparently ratings are bad…