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I thought everything in Texas was bigger…

March 8, 2010

Apparently I was wrong!

At the Starbucks at my hotel they had this pathetically anemic display of muffins…  Those aren’t muffins.  Where I come from a muffin has a top that is at least twice the size of the muffin bottom (minimum).  How in the world do you get fat with muffins like this…

This image does prove another point though…  It isn’t a muffin when the flavor is chocolate cheesecake…  At that point it is a small cake, or in normal terms, a cup cake.  I really do hope the fact that a chocolate cheesecake muffin can sit right next to blueberry cinnamon muffins and cran pecan muffins and not really stand out proves that muffins are just cupcakes with fruit (and sometimes with chocolate and cheesecake instead of fruit).

If for some reason you think a muffin is a healthy choice, I just want to take this moment to disabuse you of that notion.  There  is no world in which a muffin is healthy.  Muffins are very bad for you.  A muffin is just a cupcake.  Don’t eat muffins unless you absolutely have to to survive.

When I think back to times when I thought a blueberry muffin was healthy I shudder.  No wonder I was overweight.  I would spread butter on it because… well… because I could.  I thought it was what you did and it tasted so good.  It makes me wonder, would I spread butter on a cupcake if that was the norm?  I bet that tastes so damn good by the way, but please, don’t ever do that.  If you do, please don’t tell me how good it is…

What size is a muffin where you come from?  What is the craziest flavor of muffin you have seen?

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