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I can’t believe they went there….

October 6, 2009

I was reading ‘tweets’ about the Ab Circle Pro and I am quite pleased to see that they are getting more and more realistic, at least in the sense that not every one of them says,’ Lol at “ab circle pro” Haaaa haaa It looks fun’ and ‘Oh gosh I want an ab circle pro!’ and ‘do u wanna get rid of those love handles… that nobody loves lol – ab circle pro’, or some such repeating affiliate tweeter message.

So, I was quite  happy to see “Ab Circle Pro Review: There are times when people opt for the wrong product and end up getting a stiff back. Ab..”  with a link to here.   I thought, awesome, some more reports of back injuries.  On a side note, I am totally surprised that there aren’t more reports of sore backs.  If you are pulling yourself back and forth against a strong force, I would think a bunch of people would get sore backs.   Then I realized this is the most telling fact about this piece of crap.  There isn’t even enough force involved to hurt your back…

So, I went to the link to check out what they said and it  turns out to be a semi-coherent rambling that says :

There are times when people opt for the wrong product and end up getting a stiff back. Ab Circle Pro is also one of them. This is a machine which blends ab exercise with a wonderful cardio workout that will get you getting rid of fat very fast.

Here it appears that this is both a device that is a wrong product that will end up giving you a stiff back, yet a wonderful cardio workout that will get you ‘getting rid of’ fat very fast…

The article contains more links to the Ab Circle Pro site (or so I thought) and I wanted to check if this was just the most unappealing affiliate review in history or not.  You can imagine my shock when the link took me here.  Yes, it is an even less coherent review:

Are you planning to start exercising at home then you must be looking for some equipment that will fulfill your needs. But, too many gadgets mean more space and more maintenance. Fortunately, there is one such equipment that saves your time, space and money.

My favorite line from this review is:

This amazing exerciser combines both cardio and abdominal exercises to help you remove fat from those parts of your body from where you actually want it to be. It helps you to get up while keeping your body flattened on the floor.

and the bizarre claim:

The cost of this exerciser comprises only the S&H charges of the commodity.

Then it dawned on me.  In my past I have made and marketed a poker device.  My brother and I invented a portable poker tournament timer.  We spent some money on ads that we couldn’t afford, then we advertised on some websites and signed up for Google Ad Sense.  All of these things were very expensive.  We really spent all of our money on developing and manufacturing our product.  We figured it would sell itself…  Okay, so we aren’t the marketing geniuses that the people who sell the Ab Circle Pro are (for once I can use a sentence like that without sarcasm… those people at Fitness Brands are literally marketing geniuses).  Additionally we sent our timers out to some websites for reviews and we were very pleased with the reviews we got.  We had hoped that we would get enough reviews and links that we could drop our Google Ad Sense because we would be on the first page of searches.  Again, that didn’t happen.  A company approached us and for a few hundred dollars they would send our product out to  a number of people and get us  reviews.  I thought this was awesome.  It was like we were going to have a blog/product agent.  Again… I was wrong.  If you have gotten this far in your reading, you have to know that the last person you would hire to market any product of yours is me.

So we signed up and we were guaranteed 12  reviews for $200.  I remember when the reviews started coming in.  I commented to the person who was in charge of them that we hadn’t even sent anyone the product yet, how could they review it…  He must have thought I was the biggest idiot on earth (apparently the product they send out is a link to your webpage).  Then we read the review and we realized right away what we had signed up for.  There is a world of paid for blog reviews.  You pay the agent, he has a bunch of hacks, normally from foreign countries, who try to write something positive about your product.  These people tend to have  a very slim grasp on English as a language and even a slimmer grasp on the product they are reviewing.

There was a mix of shame and laughter in our office that day.  The reviews were so funny.  We were ashamed to have sunk to this level.  We haven’t even planted people in public forums, friends and family who believe in our product even, and here we have these paid for reviews from people who have never even used our product.  Still, these reviews did have us buckled over with laughter some times.  Some of them were so bad, when we commented to the agent/pimp, he looked at them, rejected them and got us more.  This is standard practice apparently.  The reviews came in over a little period of time, and I have to admit there was a fair bit of excitement and anticipation at seeing what bizarre reviews we would get.   At the end of the day, we felt bad, but we learned a valuable lesson.  As well, some part of the money went to the third world to some person with a lot of initiative who was getting paid to learn English, so we could take some solace in that.

In addition to that valuable lesson though, it has allowed me to spot that kind of business practice.  Here we have it.  It appears that the Ab Circle Pro is paying for blog reviews!!  Other than the fact that this proves me right in assuming that there is no depth that the Ab Circle Pro marketing team won’t stoop to, nothing so vile and unethical they won’t do (that may be an overstatement, I doubt they sold their mothers to pay for these reviews, but I haven’t heard that they didn’t), these reviews serve another purpose.  They are just as funny about other people’s products as they were about ours.  I have been in tears reading these reviews:

*Note : While Doing Our Research We Found Company is Offering 30 Days Free Trial. One has to Pay S&H to Support this Offer. Just Pay $14.95.

What?!!? Seriously!?!?  They have done enough research to actually find a company that is offering a 30 day trial!?!? No Way!! What cybersleuths!!

My favorite overall review is this one: (I have highlighted my favorite passages in red)

There has been a huge debate regarding the effectiveness of the Ab exercisers. Their effectiveness has been repeated tested and most of the equipments working on Abs generally do not work on the whole bunch of it.

It is a billion dollars industry in which people invest a lot but have a very little output ratio. All the Ab exercisers have a common demerit that they don’t consider the lower back and the side ways muscles. Recently a workout machine called Ab Circle Pro, have started its invasion in the markets throughout the world.

Ab Circle Pro is the right product for the obese and overweight people through out the world to retain original size and shape of the body with fully toned lower abs. ab Circle Pro is just the right product for any age group as it adds strength to your lower back. It cannot have any side effects as it is not a dietary supplement but a complete exercise regime.

It is a great machine to be back in shape. It is a great way to say no to any accumulation of fat near the lower abdomen and the side muscles of the belly. It is a great twisting machine which literally helps to get a good shape. It is a great fat burning exercise regime which helps to maintain a great fitness routine. Only a mere 15 mins of exercise on this for a week can do wonders to one’s fitness regime. After an extensive research of 3 years Ab Circle Pro was designed to suit everyone and all age groups.

It is a very easy exercise regime as you can adjust and read just the tension levels. All these would help to get rid off the entire fats store din the oblique and the central abs. It is also a great way to say no to all the fats and cellulite as it is a cardio vascular work out.

You can get your own blog advertisements here:  http://www.buyblogreviews.com/

and here: http://www.sponsoredreviews.com/

Hell, you can even sign up and start writing reviews.  I think the biggest problem with them from the stand point of writing reviews, is  you are bidding against people who aren’t paying $5 for a cup of coffee.  I once looked into to doing freelance computer programming.  There was a site where you bid to do work for projects.  I nearly fell over when I saw the competitive prices.  I think I pay more for electricity to run my computer than the projects were worth.  Apparently the contracts were being won by programmers out of India.  Programmers that to be honest were much, much better than me as well…  Another dream squashed, just like that.

In any case, I hope you get as big a kick out of these reviews as I did.  Be sure to thank the people at Ab Circle Pro if you get a chance.  Don’t forget to tweet to the world what you honestly believe about ab exercisers like this one.  People are honestly being duped by these products and the masses of positive reviews their marketing teams have generated.  The only way to combat them is to tweet often, retweet honest reviews, do your own honest reviews and give people better solutions.  Again, the internet is ours, let’s help it help us all.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 6, 2009 5:08 pm

    That is too funny! I can’t wait to start spoting other “reviews” on my own!!
    I have never even heard of the ab circle pro…

  2. October 7, 2009 2:10 am

    Before I got to the end, my guess was that the reviewers 1st language was not English…this was reading like a Chinese menu!

    Sad. I have to say, I never thought about the back problems with that machine, but yeah that would KILL me!

    I’ll stick to my trusty treadmill that I actually enjoy using (when it’s not masquerading as a clothes rack! lol)

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