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Doctors?!?!? Come on… Ass-clowns is more like it…

April 25, 2013
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The AMA called and they have asked for their self respect back! 

I had intended to find a recent article that I had written about how ridiculous the stars of The Doctors are and add some new points with their recent humiliating display of stupidity with respect to how full of preservatives fast food burgers must to to not rot.

I honestly don’t think this new level of unpreparedness, complete lack of science and general clamouring for camera time deserves a whole blog post of its own, but I realized I have started to write a number of articles about these idiots but haven’t posted any.   This is because I get a press release every week about their show, complete with links to tune in to segments before they air, so I as a healthcare writer can help promote their show.  I get a ton of ridiculous press releases and introductions to writers and products like this every day.  The Doctors are some of the worst.  The 4 people you see in the picture above could be the 4 dumbest doctors alive.  I find it astounding that they got through university.  I am sorry if you like them, and I don’t doubt that a lot of people do.  They are a very attractive group and I am sure they earn good money playing doctors on TV, but seriously, the four of them barely make one Doctor Oz and we all know how little respect I have for that man!

Each and every time one of the cast of The Doctors opens their mouth I am astounded by their stupidity, but I have to tell you, I don’t think I was ever as surprised as I was with this broadcast:

Firstly, how in the world they are just finding out about the dried out burger craze is beyond me.  It went viral years ago.  It was on Yahoo Health’s front page.  Hell, my burger experiment alone got tens of thousands of hits that day and it was just a small link in that story.

Did you notice how Dr. Stork said the word Kept when he said”So this has been kept for 14 years by David Whipple”?  It sounded like he was suspect of how Mr. Whipple kept his burger, and he should have been, but it turns out, Dr. Stork isn’t that bright.

As soon as they open the burger, literally, all of the standard lines that have been repeated over and over again come out, as if there is some talking points for the anti-hamburger movement.  “It looks just like the one I bought a few days ago”, “It is completely preserved”, “How can it not be moldy?”  “I will give you an idea… preservatives”, “If the mold won’t eat it, if the fungus won’t eat it, bugs won’t eat it, maybe we shouldn’t be eating it”.

These statements are amazingly stupid as statements.  The only intelligent thing said is, ‘How can it not be moldy?”, but it shouldn’t have been a statement, it should have been a question.  These are doctors for the love of god!  They should want to get to the bottom of the issue.  They should ask some questions, shouldn’t they?  I am sure they knew about this piece before the burger was rolled out.  Why didn’t any of them actually ask the question?  Why didn’t one of them notice that there were no condiments on the burger?  Who, other than a 4 year old kid, orders a perfectly plain hamburger?  Actually, even a 4 year old orders ketchup on it!  When Dr. Stork said that Mr. Whipple ‘kept’ the burger, why didn’t it cross his mind to wonder where Mr. Whipple kept his burger?  How did he store it?

And I don’t want to question Mr. Whipple… but seriously… how would a plain hamburger help you show people how enzymes work?  It hasn’t been touched?  That seems like the oddest explanation on earth.  He even said he used it for a month.  Why would someone buy a burger and then use the same burger for a month in some vague display of enzymes, especially when literally nothing is happening to the burger…  I can’t imagine a much worse explanation, or maybe I can.  “Yes officer, you see I bought the hooker because I was trying to teach my friends about gravity.”  Oh, well, it couldn’t be that Mr. Whipple had maybe seen something about these burgers that had been dried out 10 years before Mr. Whipple had even purchased his burger could it?  Strangely after putting the burger back in the original bag after using it for 1 month (why he has the original bag is beyond me as well) along with the original receipt, he puts it in his coat pocket and it isn’t discovered for at least a year.  If you watched the video on Len’s website you will notice it is the same story, minus the receipt and bag.  Could he have gotten the simple instructions from Len Foley.  By the way, notice in the instructions there is a note about putting them in a fairly dry location:

1Put your hamburgers in a fairly dry location and let them sit for many, many years.

With the following Warning:

WARNING: Do not put your hamburgers in any sealed containers, like jars. The moisture needs to escape the food naturally, so letting them breathe in the open air works best.*

Hmm… I think Len gets what is going on…  but not the doctors…

I cannot believe that between going through hair and makeup for a few hours and then costumes to put on the ‘TV doctor’ scrubs and lab coats so that they can have an air of legitimacy, that these 4 people would not suggest that maybe they should test the conclusion that they jumped to regarding the preservatives in a burger.

A while back when this story was trending with a one year old happy meal I became so frustrated that I did the burger experiment for myself.  I compared a McDonalds Cheeseburger, with a Burger King Cheeseburger with as nearly an identical home made organic burger.  I stored them together in a small greenhouse and they all rotted at about the same time.  There was no difference.

Part one of the experiment and links to all of the stages can be found here.

It was good science, not great science.  Another website took another tact and had more variation of storage, and they got the same results.  Each of these experiments can be found all over the internet and my experiment continues to be a very popular page.  It would have taken the simplest amount of research to discover some science behind this story and maybe share that with us instead of ridiculous conclusions about preservatives.

I am still not convinced these aren’t  just actors playing doctors on TV….

One Comment leave one →
  1. marie permalink
    May 30, 2013 10:40 pm

    Hey, Mark, How can i email you a private message about how you are right on about one of your post?

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